2011
The new year had come and we began planning the whole trip in our minds. Day after day of planning and praying. Hour after hour planning flights, prices, ground cost, people problems..lol...name it, we did it. If you know someone who plans mission trips for a group of people to a foreign land, hug them, they deserve it. We contacted the ones we needed to and planned the whole thing ourselves. It was a huge task, but it was a fun experience. The business part of me and Jen came out and took control of what needed to happen to make sure it was a great trip.
After months of planning I began feeling that feeling again that God was about to stir. I can remember sitting and reading some verses one night and thats when God spoke again. Swaziland was where He needed us. I wasn't shocked or surprised as my thoughts had been there for months. Jen came home from work and I asked her what her thoughts was. She said she felt like Swaziland was going to be home soon. I agreed.
We planned the trip with the thought of only being great host. We didn't want the trip to be about us searching out our new home.
The time came for us to go. October 2011 we headed for Swaziland again. We left Tulsa and headed to Atlanta to prepare for a 16 hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. Its a long trip! We met with the whole group and us and 15 others left for Swaziland. Once we landed Jen and I was one of the first ones from the group off the plane. I can remember getting off the plane, walking up the ramp off the plane, we both looked at each other, and said..."this is home". It was the first thing in years that we felt like we was doing the right thing in our lives. It was the first time we felt like we was one with God. He led us here, through muck and mud, and we had finally agreed this felt like home.
We arrived on a Wednesday and on that Saturday night, the church had a praise and worship session. The whole time I felt like God was dealing with just me. We had already had some kid interaction, which we loved, but I wanted my alone time with God to talk. During this time I felt like He was talking just to me. The very last song He wrapped it up with the song..."This is Home". No extra words needed. Got the message. Jen and I just laughed and cried at the same time. We didn't even need to discuss it, pretty clear on what He was saying.
This trip to Swaziland was one of the best. We had an awesome team. We completed a long fence, painted a carepoint, painted pictures for the kids, painted logos, gave out shoes, clothes, VBS, and much more in just three days. The fence was needed done and had been taking almost two years to complete. We did it in two. When I say this team rocked, I mean they rock!
Swaziland is a tough. There is plenty of heartache, death, disease, poverty, rape, child trafficking, and much more starvation. Through the whole trip we saw a touch of each thing. We never met the children, but while there there had been at least 4 deaths that the missionaries experienced in just a 5 day span. The heart has to be prepared to spend life there.
Jen and I are home now and are planning our final days in the United States. The question we get asked a hundred times is, when are you coming home? Our answer: When God says so. I can't tell you when we'll return, but what I can tell you is we need your love and support to be able to do what we can. We don't get paid to be there it is only volunteer only, and have to raise our own funds. In February we will begin our training to soon start what we need to do. Our goal is to be there by spring of 2013. I'm sure there is going to be a few snags along the way, but if this is God's will, He has already taken care of those things.
Jen and I have come a long way from being your simple Oklahoma couple to world travelers to spread His word and plant seeds. I was thinking the other day, in all the countries whe have been in I bet we have touched or prayed well over 10,000 -15,000 people and children. It is so fun to be able to plant the seeds and watch them grow. I heard this not to long ago. That if a man gave you a million dollars and needed help moving a heavy box would you help him? You bet I would. So why is it when a man gave His whole life so we could have eternal life, we forget to repay Him. I don't wanna be that person. I want to repay Him for what he taught me on those Southern Steps in Jerusalem. There are so many stories I could write about our trips that it would take days to write them. I just wante you to get the jest of why we are headed down a new path. Its not a path we choose, its a path we obeyed to go down. Its gonna be rough, tought, depressing, stressful, and hard to leave everything behind. But its all in Gods hands now.
To complete this chapter for now is simple. Just following Him at this time to see what our next step is. So if you would like for us to visit you one on one for more questions contact us at justinjenny78@yahoo.com and we will be glad to answer any questions you may have. We'll keep updates on facebook as well. You can find us there and see all pictures of our trips that helped us make that decision to follow Jesus. I pray our light shines so bright that all may see His glory in our journey.
As Paul Harvey once said...now you know the rest of the story...good-day!
Email us for more info on how you can help, or tell us how you wanna help. We will know more after mid February after training. After that, we will post more on how you can help. God bless you for reading my rambles. I'm not the perfect typist or writer, but I felt like everyone should now where our hearts are and how we got there. It wasn't easy. Along the way we had some dark moments, that wasn't shared, and some we had some God moments.
For more questions contact us and we will be glad to share more with you. If your church, life group, SS class, or anyone you know would want to donate to our cause let us know and we can direct you on how you can do that. All for Him!
Justin and Jennifer Carson
....to be continued through 2012!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Beginning of it all - Part 4
2009
It was starting just like any other year except God was working on our hearts even harder. Thoughts of Africa was every where. We thought of the children at the projects and prayed for them often. We already in our mind was ready to go back and serve with them.
We loved seeing different parts of the world and this year a trip to Bangladesh was going to be offered. I so wanted to see that part of the world and work with the children there. The trip was offered through Mission of Mercy and Jen and I was ready to sign up. But not enough people signed up for the trip and now the thoughts of a trip to Swaziland, Africa was being offered. I actually had to look it up. Never heard of it before in my entire life.
We signed up for the trip and packed the bags. That August we was off to Swaziland. Upon our arrival you could tell this trip was going to be awesome. The sights as we landed in South Africa was awesome. While driving down the highway, the whole landscape looked just like western Oklahoma. Rolling hills and cattle everywhere. We crossed the border into Swaziland.
The first day was to be a day of meeting people in the community and handing out supplies. We loved it. We handed out oil, soaps, rice, beans, just what the people needed. We spoke with locals who were struggling to survive. Now when I say survive, I don't mean they have only a couple of bucks in their checking account till payday, I mean they have nothing, and there is no payday. Strictly survival mode here.
We met a grandmother who was raising small children who could barely walk. We met with a lady who did some cooking at one of the carepoints that had children in the programs. We met several people who just wanted to say hello. It was house to house. When we got back we all talked about our visits with different people. We had three different groups in several parts and all had a story to tell.
One story was told by a group that met a mother with four children who had one that was 9 months old. They said it looked like it was a newborn because of starvation. We talked about the children we saw with AIDS, diseases, TB, and one boy who was so eat up with ring worm that he scratched his whole body against a tree for days to stop the itching. Never have I seen so much hurt. But it didn't matter. We held them, loved them, and kissed them just like they was our own children. We prayed that night for all we had seen especially for the little one who was starving. We prayed that God would heal.
The next day we set out to do a Safari drive and night stay. A very native and awesome experience. All the animals you would hope to see, we saw. Exotic foods and native dancing through the night. We got up the next day and finished another drive and then began to head home.
Before we left we prayed. We spoke about what we wanted to pray for as a new day was arriving. Then we got the news. God had healed that little baby. God had healed that child in His will. We received word that the child had passed away that night. That hurt. I can remember the sadness, fear, and anger all at the same time. Not mad at God, just mad in general that there was still people living like this in 2009.
These people needed Jesus. It was their ONLY hope in life. They needed a savior. They need someone to guide them. I was glad I was there and hoped I could show them some kind of light. We headed back to our carepoints. Not a single person spoke. We all had sadness on our hearts and it was heavy. Oh the joys of Africa. Oh the sadness that is there as well.
Now my heart is prepared to face anything. The whole trip I hugged and loved on any child I could. No matter what that child had, I wanted to let them know they was loved. I wanted to see them smile and have a day where they didn't have to worry about a thing but to have fun.
On the trip we had an opportunity to feed the children. Talk about breaking your heart. We fed them rice and beans. What was so awesome is that while seeing it being prepared you would think it wouldn't be enough. We served each child a bowl of rice and beans. They carried bowls, buckets, I even saw one that had a plastic sack to fill just so it could eat. If you could put food in it, they had it to eat out of. The more and more we served, the more and more God provided food. I literally watched the food fill containers and God added more and more to them. Just when you thought you was going to run out, God filled it again. Very touching moment that day.
We had a day where the nurse came to inspect some of the children. We gathered them in a huge group and asked who was sick. Funny thing is that no matter if they felt awesome, all of a sudden they started coughing. They was just starving for attention. We had a few that needed some meds and they was evaluated and checked. You could just look at their eyes and tell if they was sick. Redness in the corners would be so dark red, you could tell they hurt in some way. One little girl I feel in love with she was HIV positive. It was sad. She was one of the cutest and happiest girls you'd ever meet though. She was full of life no matter what. I could tell hundreds of stories of Africa that year. I could write a whole book on just that trip alone. It was pretty obvious God was working on us while Jen and I was there.
The trip was coming to a close and for the first time on any mission trip I wasn't ready to go home. I felt like I was, but also felt it could just be the feeling you get when you like something that strong. We returned home and everything changed in our minds. The way we viewed things, the way we spent money, the way we traveled. We began praying God would use us in a special way to speak for Swaziland. Each night when we slept we would have dreams of the children singing. It was just like we was there. You could hear the songs and see them dancing. Jen would wake up talking about her dream, and it would be just like mine. God's voice began speaking again to my heart. Swaziland He would say. I knew what He meant but wasn't ready to hear that just yet. Jen and I would talk about what if we gave our full attention to Swaziland. Maybe full time missionaries? I just felt like at that point in my life I needed more self evalutaion with God. I didn't say no, but did ask He build me and prepare me more before we went down that path. I never heard Him say it again. Jen and I would speak of it some, but when we did we felt comfortable staying put. We shared with our close friends (Hildebrants) about what God was saying. They said they had been hearing it too. Awesome. Next thing we know they are moving there. Sweet. To this day God has used them in such an awesome way.
The year is coming to a close and Swaziland was the highlight. We prayed, talked, and thought about it everyday. Everyone we spoke to had to hear about it. It stayed in our minds forever. The new year was approaching and new adventures was present.
2010
We said this would be the year that we would focus on us. We needed some time to ourselves to regroup and rethink our process. In June Mission of Mercy would be traveling to Dominican Republic. The group was out of Oklahoma and I told Jen I wanted to go to see the children of the area and have a great time with some fellow okies.
Dominican was awesome. Met some very nice people. Got to see how many was affected by the earthquake out of Haiti which was next door to this country. The whole trip though I thought about Swaziland. It was a constant reminder every time I held a child. I felt very guilty that I didn't give those children a chance of my best love due to everytime I held them, I thought about the children of Swaziland. We traveled to a border town and went through the local market. If I would have had my wallet in my back pocket I would have been mugged three times. It was hilarious the things they tried to do to steal from me. Sad at the same time. They was just trying to survive the best they could in the crisis they was in. I traveled with a local friend, and on that trip I met some of my bestest friends I could ever have. We all stay in contact to this day.
I came home and told Jennifer of the trip. I told her all about the new friends. But I did tell her that in 2011 I wanted to go back to Swaziland, but I wanted it to be a trip we put together and led. We prayed about it and began the whole process of orginizing the trip.
...stay tuned to hear about our last trip to Swaziland...its the year God reminds us of how to be an Acts 1:8 couple...and its the year He guides us to our final destination!
Remember to look at photos on FB..I have the photo of the small child being held by the mother that passed away. A heartbreaking moment of 2009.
It was starting just like any other year except God was working on our hearts even harder. Thoughts of Africa was every where. We thought of the children at the projects and prayed for them often. We already in our mind was ready to go back and serve with them.
We loved seeing different parts of the world and this year a trip to Bangladesh was going to be offered. I so wanted to see that part of the world and work with the children there. The trip was offered through Mission of Mercy and Jen and I was ready to sign up. But not enough people signed up for the trip and now the thoughts of a trip to Swaziland, Africa was being offered. I actually had to look it up. Never heard of it before in my entire life.
We signed up for the trip and packed the bags. That August we was off to Swaziland. Upon our arrival you could tell this trip was going to be awesome. The sights as we landed in South Africa was awesome. While driving down the highway, the whole landscape looked just like western Oklahoma. Rolling hills and cattle everywhere. We crossed the border into Swaziland.
The first day was to be a day of meeting people in the community and handing out supplies. We loved it. We handed out oil, soaps, rice, beans, just what the people needed. We spoke with locals who were struggling to survive. Now when I say survive, I don't mean they have only a couple of bucks in their checking account till payday, I mean they have nothing, and there is no payday. Strictly survival mode here.
We met a grandmother who was raising small children who could barely walk. We met with a lady who did some cooking at one of the carepoints that had children in the programs. We met several people who just wanted to say hello. It was house to house. When we got back we all talked about our visits with different people. We had three different groups in several parts and all had a story to tell.
One story was told by a group that met a mother with four children who had one that was 9 months old. They said it looked like it was a newborn because of starvation. We talked about the children we saw with AIDS, diseases, TB, and one boy who was so eat up with ring worm that he scratched his whole body against a tree for days to stop the itching. Never have I seen so much hurt. But it didn't matter. We held them, loved them, and kissed them just like they was our own children. We prayed that night for all we had seen especially for the little one who was starving. We prayed that God would heal.
The next day we set out to do a Safari drive and night stay. A very native and awesome experience. All the animals you would hope to see, we saw. Exotic foods and native dancing through the night. We got up the next day and finished another drive and then began to head home.
Before we left we prayed. We spoke about what we wanted to pray for as a new day was arriving. Then we got the news. God had healed that little baby. God had healed that child in His will. We received word that the child had passed away that night. That hurt. I can remember the sadness, fear, and anger all at the same time. Not mad at God, just mad in general that there was still people living like this in 2009.
These people needed Jesus. It was their ONLY hope in life. They needed a savior. They need someone to guide them. I was glad I was there and hoped I could show them some kind of light. We headed back to our carepoints. Not a single person spoke. We all had sadness on our hearts and it was heavy. Oh the joys of Africa. Oh the sadness that is there as well.
Now my heart is prepared to face anything. The whole trip I hugged and loved on any child I could. No matter what that child had, I wanted to let them know they was loved. I wanted to see them smile and have a day where they didn't have to worry about a thing but to have fun.
On the trip we had an opportunity to feed the children. Talk about breaking your heart. We fed them rice and beans. What was so awesome is that while seeing it being prepared you would think it wouldn't be enough. We served each child a bowl of rice and beans. They carried bowls, buckets, I even saw one that had a plastic sack to fill just so it could eat. If you could put food in it, they had it to eat out of. The more and more we served, the more and more God provided food. I literally watched the food fill containers and God added more and more to them. Just when you thought you was going to run out, God filled it again. Very touching moment that day.
We had a day where the nurse came to inspect some of the children. We gathered them in a huge group and asked who was sick. Funny thing is that no matter if they felt awesome, all of a sudden they started coughing. They was just starving for attention. We had a few that needed some meds and they was evaluated and checked. You could just look at their eyes and tell if they was sick. Redness in the corners would be so dark red, you could tell they hurt in some way. One little girl I feel in love with she was HIV positive. It was sad. She was one of the cutest and happiest girls you'd ever meet though. She was full of life no matter what. I could tell hundreds of stories of Africa that year. I could write a whole book on just that trip alone. It was pretty obvious God was working on us while Jen and I was there.
The trip was coming to a close and for the first time on any mission trip I wasn't ready to go home. I felt like I was, but also felt it could just be the feeling you get when you like something that strong. We returned home and everything changed in our minds. The way we viewed things, the way we spent money, the way we traveled. We began praying God would use us in a special way to speak for Swaziland. Each night when we slept we would have dreams of the children singing. It was just like we was there. You could hear the songs and see them dancing. Jen would wake up talking about her dream, and it would be just like mine. God's voice began speaking again to my heart. Swaziland He would say. I knew what He meant but wasn't ready to hear that just yet. Jen and I would talk about what if we gave our full attention to Swaziland. Maybe full time missionaries? I just felt like at that point in my life I needed more self evalutaion with God. I didn't say no, but did ask He build me and prepare me more before we went down that path. I never heard Him say it again. Jen and I would speak of it some, but when we did we felt comfortable staying put. We shared with our close friends (Hildebrants) about what God was saying. They said they had been hearing it too. Awesome. Next thing we know they are moving there. Sweet. To this day God has used them in such an awesome way.
The year is coming to a close and Swaziland was the highlight. We prayed, talked, and thought about it everyday. Everyone we spoke to had to hear about it. It stayed in our minds forever. The new year was approaching and new adventures was present.
2010
We said this would be the year that we would focus on us. We needed some time to ourselves to regroup and rethink our process. In June Mission of Mercy would be traveling to Dominican Republic. The group was out of Oklahoma and I told Jen I wanted to go to see the children of the area and have a great time with some fellow okies.
Dominican was awesome. Met some very nice people. Got to see how many was affected by the earthquake out of Haiti which was next door to this country. The whole trip though I thought about Swaziland. It was a constant reminder every time I held a child. I felt very guilty that I didn't give those children a chance of my best love due to everytime I held them, I thought about the children of Swaziland. We traveled to a border town and went through the local market. If I would have had my wallet in my back pocket I would have been mugged three times. It was hilarious the things they tried to do to steal from me. Sad at the same time. They was just trying to survive the best they could in the crisis they was in. I traveled with a local friend, and on that trip I met some of my bestest friends I could ever have. We all stay in contact to this day.
I came home and told Jennifer of the trip. I told her all about the new friends. But I did tell her that in 2011 I wanted to go back to Swaziland, but I wanted it to be a trip we put together and led. We prayed about it and began the whole process of orginizing the trip.
...stay tuned to hear about our last trip to Swaziland...its the year God reminds us of how to be an Acts 1:8 couple...and its the year He guides us to our final destination!
Remember to look at photos on FB..I have the photo of the small child being held by the mother that passed away. A heartbreaking moment of 2009.
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Beginning of it all - Part 3
I met the whole team in Chicago and off to Israel we go. We finally land in Tel Aviv and then head to Jerusalem to spend the first three days there. On the first night another couple and myself decide to go walk and look at some sites. Its late, dark, and most shops are closing. We stop at a local YMCA that was close to 100 years old. It was cool. On our way back police and military are in a shoot out with someone down the street. Some locals tell us its probably a riot of some kind. That ended our little adventure that night real quick and back to the hotel we went.
We spent hours and miles of walking. Seeing the sites where Christ walked. Where He prayed. But the one that captured me the most in Jerusalem was the Southern steps of the Temple Mount. This is where He taught. After years of wars and destruction the original steps was still there. I sat there thinking to myself and then began to cry. This is the exact place where He stood and even though He wasn't there in flesh, He was teaching me that day. All the headaches it took to get there. All the pains I had in the past. It all was a lesson to just sit still. I couldn't move while I sat there. I was in awe of how simple a rock step could be a great lesson in life.
We traveled to many sites. Casearea, Nazareth, Sea of Galilee, name it we saw it. I was having a great time. But honestly can say not the best time. Lots of travel and I was glad to see the sites from a history point of view, but I was still wondering what God wanted me to see. We had an opportunity to get baptized in the Jordan river. That was cool. It was kind of a refreshing moment to be able to do what Christ had done himself. We received a certificate of being baptized on that day, and still have it to this day.
We left and are headed to the Dead Sea. You can't sink in that water. No matter how much you try, you will float because of the salt percentage. Pretty cool. We traveled more days and saw many more sites then crossed over into Jordan and headed to Petra. Petra was the place where Indiana Jones was after the Holy Grail. It was neat to see all the sites and then we headed up to Amman to finish our last 4 days with some children in schools. Before we had left I had sponsored a boy through Mission of Mercy and I was excited to be able to meet and take him gifts.
The day came where I would get to meet him. I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I am. He comes with his teacher and I give him a huge hug. He's very shy, so I just sit back and let him warm up to me. As soon as I get out the small Hotwheel cars out to play with him, he warmed up real quick. He plays with them just like all boys do and had a blast. We had a chance to eat a dessert with them, and so we walked over to sit down. As we was walking over I felt a small hand grab mine. He was holding my hand as we walked. Inside I was tore up. I can remember feeling like he finally trusted me. He didn't understand english and I didn't understand Arabic. But it didn't matter, we both understood love. We ate the dessert and then we played some more. I loaded up all his toys in a back pack and got him ready to go back to his school. I went to put some other things up in the vans we was in. When I turned around he was gone. A teacher had taken him back without me saying goodbye. I hurt. I never got to say goodbye, but thats okay. We still write and talk in letters all the time.
We loaded the plane the next few days and headed home. It was in the middle of the night when our plane was over the Mediterranean Sea. We hit bad weather and our plane was getting rough. The overhead storage was popping open and stuff was falling all over the place. Not good. I think we are going to crash. Here I spent all this time following what God wanted me to do and we are going to crash. The good point about it is, I took a sleeping pill and it was beginning to hit me. They told us to lean forward just incase. There was a guy next to me who was sweating in buckets. I leaned my head against the seat in front of me and next thing I knew I was asleep. Asleep during an emergency. Finally the pilots got a hold of the plane and got us out of the storm. I can remember the guy next to me saying I had tremendous faith. And I said nope, just good sleeping pills. LOL!
When I got home I told Jen about the whole trip and we shared the pictures. We laughed and cried knowing what God had just put me through. I told her of the plane ride home. She said she was glad I waited to tell her then and not will coming home.
It was a few days later and I was going through some things I had gathered there in Israel/Jordan. I found the certificate that I got for being baptized. The whole time we was there I couldn't tell you what day was what. For once I didn't care what the dates even was. Just day to day. When I read the date on the certificate I was floored. October 21, 2007. WHAT!?! 22 years ago on that same date I was saved and baptized in 1985. It was the same date and everything. It wasn't planned by me, but God was showing me that He still remembered me through the small stuff. The whole trip was awesome, but I didn't understand what he wanted to show me. That was it. He was going to use that to show me that He still works, and from that date forward I have never doubted Him.
Once I returned and after all the walking my knee was getting worse again. The pains at night was keeping me from sleeping. I went back to the doctor and surgery was recommended. But this time it was going to be a total replacement. WHAT? Only old people need that. So in November I had a total replacement on my left knee. During the surgery I awoke many times to see the anathesiologist sitting next to me. I woke up once to hear them pounding the rods into my bones. I looked at him and jokingly said "Come in"..he laughed and said "you should be asleep" so he gave me more juice.
Rehab began and from then through most of 2008 while selling real estate on the side for money, God was preparing us for our next adventure.
2008
We began praying on what God would want us to do next. Mission of Mercy was offering a trip to Ethiopia. Africa? I didn't want to go to Africa. Everytime you meet a missionary its always Africa. But the more and more I prayed against it, the more God was preparing it.
So in August of 2008 Jen and I are off to Ethiopia. Our first overseas mission trip as a couple. When we arrived in Addis Ababa it was what I expected. Crowded. Homeless people every where. God's love and hope available, but not being shown. We had a huge task ahead of us. We were with a good group of people to help show love. To this day, most of them I still call friends and have served again with on trips. Thats funny about mission trips. The people that you go with end up being your closet friends and you only know them about a week.
Ethiopia was a great learning trip for Jen and I. Learned more about different cultures, sicknesses, and that death from sickness was real. AIDS victims, the ones I was afraid of, I found my kissing and hugging them. God took that from me real quick. Who cares. Show love to these kids the best way you can. We had an awesome opportunity to build a preschool at the Mercy Center. The type of construction being done was so scarey, but it worked. One night while eatting a lamb roast, there was a small girl about 2 who belonged to one of the cooks who made our meals. I sat at the end of the table. She approached me and with the best english she knew how, looked up at me and said "I love you". Now who in their right mind wouldn't cry. A girl who doesn't know me, who never met me till this trip, just walked up and said this. I was blown away. Not everyone around me heard her, but those who did, bawled like a baby. Our heart was broken and healed at the same time. We soon left Ethiopia after about a weeks worth of time. We have never been back, but a piece of our heart still remains there. I'll never forget that place and people. It was where it first began for Jen and I.
Once we returned we couldn't get it out of our minds. We felt like we was being called there. We shared with friends who to was on the trip. They prayed with us and encouraged to just be still and listen. God never opened that door. He had a better plan. What could be greater than that? We would start to see his new plan. A door is cracked and we start to peak in on what God is laying out in 2009.
...stay tuned for our trip back to Africa in 2009...the trip that tore our hearts for the sick and dying.
I want to say thank you for reading so far. Its been an encouragement to me to read your comments on FB. I wanted to write this not only so you would know, but so I could relive it to remember what got me here today. At anytime I encourage you to visit my pictures of the trips on FB. I have Israel, Jordan, Ethiopia, Swaziland, Dominican Republic, my new knee, our sponsored children, and the little girl in the pink jacket that said I love you in Ethiopia.
We spent hours and miles of walking. Seeing the sites where Christ walked. Where He prayed. But the one that captured me the most in Jerusalem was the Southern steps of the Temple Mount. This is where He taught. After years of wars and destruction the original steps was still there. I sat there thinking to myself and then began to cry. This is the exact place where He stood and even though He wasn't there in flesh, He was teaching me that day. All the headaches it took to get there. All the pains I had in the past. It all was a lesson to just sit still. I couldn't move while I sat there. I was in awe of how simple a rock step could be a great lesson in life.
We traveled to many sites. Casearea, Nazareth, Sea of Galilee, name it we saw it. I was having a great time. But honestly can say not the best time. Lots of travel and I was glad to see the sites from a history point of view, but I was still wondering what God wanted me to see. We had an opportunity to get baptized in the Jordan river. That was cool. It was kind of a refreshing moment to be able to do what Christ had done himself. We received a certificate of being baptized on that day, and still have it to this day.
We left and are headed to the Dead Sea. You can't sink in that water. No matter how much you try, you will float because of the salt percentage. Pretty cool. We traveled more days and saw many more sites then crossed over into Jordan and headed to Petra. Petra was the place where Indiana Jones was after the Holy Grail. It was neat to see all the sites and then we headed up to Amman to finish our last 4 days with some children in schools. Before we had left I had sponsored a boy through Mission of Mercy and I was excited to be able to meet and take him gifts.
The day came where I would get to meet him. I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I am. He comes with his teacher and I give him a huge hug. He's very shy, so I just sit back and let him warm up to me. As soon as I get out the small Hotwheel cars out to play with him, he warmed up real quick. He plays with them just like all boys do and had a blast. We had a chance to eat a dessert with them, and so we walked over to sit down. As we was walking over I felt a small hand grab mine. He was holding my hand as we walked. Inside I was tore up. I can remember feeling like he finally trusted me. He didn't understand english and I didn't understand Arabic. But it didn't matter, we both understood love. We ate the dessert and then we played some more. I loaded up all his toys in a back pack and got him ready to go back to his school. I went to put some other things up in the vans we was in. When I turned around he was gone. A teacher had taken him back without me saying goodbye. I hurt. I never got to say goodbye, but thats okay. We still write and talk in letters all the time.
We loaded the plane the next few days and headed home. It was in the middle of the night when our plane was over the Mediterranean Sea. We hit bad weather and our plane was getting rough. The overhead storage was popping open and stuff was falling all over the place. Not good. I think we are going to crash. Here I spent all this time following what God wanted me to do and we are going to crash. The good point about it is, I took a sleeping pill and it was beginning to hit me. They told us to lean forward just incase. There was a guy next to me who was sweating in buckets. I leaned my head against the seat in front of me and next thing I knew I was asleep. Asleep during an emergency. Finally the pilots got a hold of the plane and got us out of the storm. I can remember the guy next to me saying I had tremendous faith. And I said nope, just good sleeping pills. LOL!
When I got home I told Jen about the whole trip and we shared the pictures. We laughed and cried knowing what God had just put me through. I told her of the plane ride home. She said she was glad I waited to tell her then and not will coming home.
It was a few days later and I was going through some things I had gathered there in Israel/Jordan. I found the certificate that I got for being baptized. The whole time we was there I couldn't tell you what day was what. For once I didn't care what the dates even was. Just day to day. When I read the date on the certificate I was floored. October 21, 2007. WHAT!?! 22 years ago on that same date I was saved and baptized in 1985. It was the same date and everything. It wasn't planned by me, but God was showing me that He still remembered me through the small stuff. The whole trip was awesome, but I didn't understand what he wanted to show me. That was it. He was going to use that to show me that He still works, and from that date forward I have never doubted Him.
Once I returned and after all the walking my knee was getting worse again. The pains at night was keeping me from sleeping. I went back to the doctor and surgery was recommended. But this time it was going to be a total replacement. WHAT? Only old people need that. So in November I had a total replacement on my left knee. During the surgery I awoke many times to see the anathesiologist sitting next to me. I woke up once to hear them pounding the rods into my bones. I looked at him and jokingly said "Come in"..he laughed and said "you should be asleep" so he gave me more juice.
Rehab began and from then through most of 2008 while selling real estate on the side for money, God was preparing us for our next adventure.
2008
We began praying on what God would want us to do next. Mission of Mercy was offering a trip to Ethiopia. Africa? I didn't want to go to Africa. Everytime you meet a missionary its always Africa. But the more and more I prayed against it, the more God was preparing it.
So in August of 2008 Jen and I are off to Ethiopia. Our first overseas mission trip as a couple. When we arrived in Addis Ababa it was what I expected. Crowded. Homeless people every where. God's love and hope available, but not being shown. We had a huge task ahead of us. We were with a good group of people to help show love. To this day, most of them I still call friends and have served again with on trips. Thats funny about mission trips. The people that you go with end up being your closet friends and you only know them about a week.
Ethiopia was a great learning trip for Jen and I. Learned more about different cultures, sicknesses, and that death from sickness was real. AIDS victims, the ones I was afraid of, I found my kissing and hugging them. God took that from me real quick. Who cares. Show love to these kids the best way you can. We had an awesome opportunity to build a preschool at the Mercy Center. The type of construction being done was so scarey, but it worked. One night while eatting a lamb roast, there was a small girl about 2 who belonged to one of the cooks who made our meals. I sat at the end of the table. She approached me and with the best english she knew how, looked up at me and said "I love you". Now who in their right mind wouldn't cry. A girl who doesn't know me, who never met me till this trip, just walked up and said this. I was blown away. Not everyone around me heard her, but those who did, bawled like a baby. Our heart was broken and healed at the same time. We soon left Ethiopia after about a weeks worth of time. We have never been back, but a piece of our heart still remains there. I'll never forget that place and people. It was where it first began for Jen and I.
Once we returned we couldn't get it out of our minds. We felt like we was being called there. We shared with friends who to was on the trip. They prayed with us and encouraged to just be still and listen. God never opened that door. He had a better plan. What could be greater than that? We would start to see his new plan. A door is cracked and we start to peak in on what God is laying out in 2009.
...stay tuned for our trip back to Africa in 2009...the trip that tore our hearts for the sick and dying.
I want to say thank you for reading so far. Its been an encouragement to me to read your comments on FB. I wanted to write this not only so you would know, but so I could relive it to remember what got me here today. At anytime I encourage you to visit my pictures of the trips on FB. I have Israel, Jordan, Ethiopia, Swaziland, Dominican Republic, my new knee, our sponsored children, and the little girl in the pink jacket that said I love you in Ethiopia.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Beginning of it all - Part 2
It was a rough start and 2006 was gonna be long. I was waiting on the results to come back on my liver. Come to find out they diagnosed it as a non-alcoholic liver disease. True to the statement since I was not a drinker. It had started to form a fatty outside, and if I wasn't careful could turn out to be full blown liver disease. Cure? Nope. Just had to refrain from any drinking, eatting certain foods, and take certain vitamins hoping it would cure itself. The liver can do that. I had to keep getting my blood tested to check ALT levels and everytime they would be off the chart. At one time they was close to 200. If you know anything about ALT levels you know that is bad.
I continued going to work. I worked on the days I could and stayed home when I was drained of all energy and sick. The pains were still there and I figured they would just be something I would just have to learn to live with. The bleeding continued and by now I have missed so much work that my job was getting a little worried if I could continue to perform. But I pressed on the best I could and tried the best I could. Luckily they never fired me. I praise them for that till this day.
2007
The start of the year was here and I knew God was building up to something. I don't know why He would still want me, I had left Him a long time ago through the process. Never stopped believing, just stopped believing He remembered me. I was making New Year resolutions, when He began to speak. I can remember the feeling when He asked me why I still hurt? I can remember saying its because I was never healed. Then I fell to the ground crying and screaming at Him.
"Why did I live in such pain and why did You let this go on?" I said
Then just like that, I can remember a warm feeling just like warm water being poured on me. For the first time in years I felt like running. Running as far as I could like you did when you was in the second grade. I felt awesome. No pain, no hurts. I cried harder. I can remember hearing His voice saying "Now that I have your attention, sit still and listen." I was healed. I had never experienced that kind of feeling before. I knew the second the pains left my body. Goodbye pains...Hello God!
I laid completely on my face shaking at the sound of His voice. It wasn't loud and no one could hear it but me. If Jennifer would have been home she would have thought I had lost my mind. She was at her grandmothers that night sitting by her side as she passed away. I was alone and still and He had my full attention.
He began laying out a plan. A plan much more greater than me. It included traveling. Hey I like to travel. It included speaking. No problem there, I like to talk. It included loving the worst of the worst. Oh...not my strong point. That wasn't too much of a problem I just didn't want some AIDS victim kissing and hugging on me thats all. I'm not a germ freak, but diseases I don't do. That would change.
He told me he was gonna send me overseas with a group of people I had never known before. Jen was gonna stay home He had a different plan for her to do. I listened and sat real still. Go for a long time, no, just a short journey. The more and more I sat there Israel kept coming to mind and I was thinking no. But it wasn't going away. The more and more I kept trying to not think of it for days, the more and more signs of me going was popping up. I didn't want to go there. Too much trouble in the Middle East. But there was something He wanted me to experience and see. What? I love history so I know the sites of the bible are gonna be cool, but what experience will I get? That's not a mission trip. Its a vacation. But it was a true eye opener to what would happen on this trip. I would experience something that most Americans or others of this world would never get to experience.
I told Jen of the whole sit down talk God had with me and she agreed God was stirring. He had filled our house and He was definately working.
By now its April 2007 and while playing soccer with the youth I fall in a hole tearing the cartilage in my left knee. The same knee I tore in highschool playing football and already had 3 operations on. Not good. This was not in the plan. I go see the doctor and they need to do surgery. I explain to work what needs to happen and since my thoughts of leaving soon was going to happen, they asked I go ahead and resign and go home. Really not good. I couldn't blame them. I mean I was gone more than I was there. But wait. How am I going to get to Israel now? I have not job. Definately not good! But God had it planned the whole time.
I thought I was off to Israel, untill the whole job situation came up. Wrong! So God sent Jen to Honduras instead and I'm sitting at home with a bandage around my leg. Why? Did I hear incorrectly? Did I not follow through with God's will? When will be my chance to go?
While Jen is in Honduras she is calling me everynight explaining what a awesome group Mission of Mercy was and how she fell in love with the people who lead the trips. Who knew one of them would become my best friend years later, and his wife becoming just like a sister to me? God did! I had been searching for trips to Israel to fit my budget. I was not going to let God down again. He told me to go and I was going. When Jen arrived home she looked me in the eye and said. "No matter what it takes, you have to go to Israel just like God wanted you to". I agreed. The next day she came to me and said "Here it is, Mission of Mercy is going in October 2007 and also will be in Jordan...you are going". It was all God. No one can write or make this stuff up. His plan was coming together and He was showing himself through Jennifer. He was uniting us and building us for a greater plan.
I signed up and honestly to this day I don't know where the money came from, but He provided. In October 2007 I'm on a plane headed to Israel/Jordan for two weeks. What will I see that He wanted me to see? What will I experience that most never experience? What experience will change my life forever?
...stay tuned for the rest of 2007 and see where God uses Jen and I both in 2008!
I continued going to work. I worked on the days I could and stayed home when I was drained of all energy and sick. The pains were still there and I figured they would just be something I would just have to learn to live with. The bleeding continued and by now I have missed so much work that my job was getting a little worried if I could continue to perform. But I pressed on the best I could and tried the best I could. Luckily they never fired me. I praise them for that till this day.
2007
The start of the year was here and I knew God was building up to something. I don't know why He would still want me, I had left Him a long time ago through the process. Never stopped believing, just stopped believing He remembered me. I was making New Year resolutions, when He began to speak. I can remember the feeling when He asked me why I still hurt? I can remember saying its because I was never healed. Then I fell to the ground crying and screaming at Him.
"Why did I live in such pain and why did You let this go on?" I said
Then just like that, I can remember a warm feeling just like warm water being poured on me. For the first time in years I felt like running. Running as far as I could like you did when you was in the second grade. I felt awesome. No pain, no hurts. I cried harder. I can remember hearing His voice saying "Now that I have your attention, sit still and listen." I was healed. I had never experienced that kind of feeling before. I knew the second the pains left my body. Goodbye pains...Hello God!
I laid completely on my face shaking at the sound of His voice. It wasn't loud and no one could hear it but me. If Jennifer would have been home she would have thought I had lost my mind. She was at her grandmothers that night sitting by her side as she passed away. I was alone and still and He had my full attention.
He began laying out a plan. A plan much more greater than me. It included traveling. Hey I like to travel. It included speaking. No problem there, I like to talk. It included loving the worst of the worst. Oh...not my strong point. That wasn't too much of a problem I just didn't want some AIDS victim kissing and hugging on me thats all. I'm not a germ freak, but diseases I don't do. That would change.
He told me he was gonna send me overseas with a group of people I had never known before. Jen was gonna stay home He had a different plan for her to do. I listened and sat real still. Go for a long time, no, just a short journey. The more and more I sat there Israel kept coming to mind and I was thinking no. But it wasn't going away. The more and more I kept trying to not think of it for days, the more and more signs of me going was popping up. I didn't want to go there. Too much trouble in the Middle East. But there was something He wanted me to experience and see. What? I love history so I know the sites of the bible are gonna be cool, but what experience will I get? That's not a mission trip. Its a vacation. But it was a true eye opener to what would happen on this trip. I would experience something that most Americans or others of this world would never get to experience.
I told Jen of the whole sit down talk God had with me and she agreed God was stirring. He had filled our house and He was definately working.
By now its April 2007 and while playing soccer with the youth I fall in a hole tearing the cartilage in my left knee. The same knee I tore in highschool playing football and already had 3 operations on. Not good. This was not in the plan. I go see the doctor and they need to do surgery. I explain to work what needs to happen and since my thoughts of leaving soon was going to happen, they asked I go ahead and resign and go home. Really not good. I couldn't blame them. I mean I was gone more than I was there. But wait. How am I going to get to Israel now? I have not job. Definately not good! But God had it planned the whole time.
I thought I was off to Israel, untill the whole job situation came up. Wrong! So God sent Jen to Honduras instead and I'm sitting at home with a bandage around my leg. Why? Did I hear incorrectly? Did I not follow through with God's will? When will be my chance to go?
While Jen is in Honduras she is calling me everynight explaining what a awesome group Mission of Mercy was and how she fell in love with the people who lead the trips. Who knew one of them would become my best friend years later, and his wife becoming just like a sister to me? God did! I had been searching for trips to Israel to fit my budget. I was not going to let God down again. He told me to go and I was going. When Jen arrived home she looked me in the eye and said. "No matter what it takes, you have to go to Israel just like God wanted you to". I agreed. The next day she came to me and said "Here it is, Mission of Mercy is going in October 2007 and also will be in Jordan...you are going". It was all God. No one can write or make this stuff up. His plan was coming together and He was showing himself through Jennifer. He was uniting us and building us for a greater plan.
I signed up and honestly to this day I don't know where the money came from, but He provided. In October 2007 I'm on a plane headed to Israel/Jordan for two weeks. What will I see that He wanted me to see? What will I experience that most never experience? What experience will change my life forever?
...stay tuned for the rest of 2007 and see where God uses Jen and I both in 2008!
The Beginning of it all - 2003
I want to tell my story of pains. It tells the miracles of God through one of the toughest times in my life.
When I was a youth minister, I always knew that children would be my focus on ministry. But what I didn't know is how long I would be doing it. When Jen and I got married, God began building a new part of ministry for us both. I resigned as youth minister and began sitting still to listen to what He had in store. He didn't speak for years and that was frustrating. I need an answer now, my brain just worked that way. Sit still and listen.
2003
We moved from one church to the other and there was offered the youth ministry job, but told them I would only volunteer as God was stirring in our hearts to go a new direction. But what is it God? Sit still and listen.
We ended up moving to Tulsa at the end of the year. A new job, new people, new church, was this it? Nope. Still needed me to sit still and listen.
Okay this is frustrating. I'm not the best or most obedient christian, but I think I deserve some direction. We ended up volunteering for another church in Collinsville, OK due to still didn't feel we was supposed to be in the position of youth ministry in a church. But it was a passion. Passion to want to mold young minds and help them with their day to day struggles. Still. Same old answer. Sit still and listen. ARRRGGGHHH!!!
By now end of 2004 has arrived and out of no where a strange illness has attacked my body. My right side hurts just like a sick galbladder or appendix, but they check just fine. Now I'm losing blood out of lower areas that shouldn't be losing blood. Not good. I'm losing weight and sickness has struck my body so hard that I can hardly stay out of hospital or go to work. Luckily I had a job that was awesome on standing by my side to help me get better.
I have seen doctor after doctor and still no answers. I was told to visit a neurologist to check things of that nature. He felt my Psoas muscle in the center of my body was damaged and steriod shots to it under live xray could fix the problem. Laying on a bed while they stick a 5" needle past your spine and into this muscle with no "funny" juice is not fun. They hit nerves while doing it and next thing I know for two days I'm paralyzed from walking. I finally get my legs under me and go back to work. Never felt better. One month later, same pains and I'm back for more treatments. I did this for 6 months or so and it never eased the pain.
Now I'm off to a stomach doctor. After about 6 months of in and out of hospital, tests, and numerous doctor visits I had one last visit one late night to the E.R. cause the pain was so great I passed out and hit my head. After 7 hours in E.R. the doctor looked me straight in the eye and said in the nicest way she could and told my I was crazy and I would just have to learn to live with it. I can't do this anylonger. I hurt. My relationship with my job is failing and my marriage is getting rocky cause of my temper due to sickness. Which let me add to that. Jen never left my side and stood by me through thick and thin. A true bestfriend.
I finally got a general surgeon to consult with. Maybe he'll have the answer, cause if he doesn't, I don't know what to do. My mind has began to wonder off, and the thought of God is not even close in my mind. I'm mad at Him right now. When I need Him most, He left me to hurt, cry, and physically wanting to hurt myself. What should I do? I no longer want to just sit still and listen, I need an answer now!
The end of 2005 is near and this has gone on way to long. The general surgeon puts me under and takes a look. When I awake there are six holes in my body. My appendix is missing, my galbladder is missing, and there is a small hole in my liver where they took a biopsy of it. WHAT!?!
....stay tuned for 2006...it's the year of hurts and changes!
When I was a youth minister, I always knew that children would be my focus on ministry. But what I didn't know is how long I would be doing it. When Jen and I got married, God began building a new part of ministry for us both. I resigned as youth minister and began sitting still to listen to what He had in store. He didn't speak for years and that was frustrating. I need an answer now, my brain just worked that way. Sit still and listen.
2003
We moved from one church to the other and there was offered the youth ministry job, but told them I would only volunteer as God was stirring in our hearts to go a new direction. But what is it God? Sit still and listen.
We ended up moving to Tulsa at the end of the year. A new job, new people, new church, was this it? Nope. Still needed me to sit still and listen.
Okay this is frustrating. I'm not the best or most obedient christian, but I think I deserve some direction. We ended up volunteering for another church in Collinsville, OK due to still didn't feel we was supposed to be in the position of youth ministry in a church. But it was a passion. Passion to want to mold young minds and help them with their day to day struggles. Still. Same old answer. Sit still and listen. ARRRGGGHHH!!!
By now end of 2004 has arrived and out of no where a strange illness has attacked my body. My right side hurts just like a sick galbladder or appendix, but they check just fine. Now I'm losing blood out of lower areas that shouldn't be losing blood. Not good. I'm losing weight and sickness has struck my body so hard that I can hardly stay out of hospital or go to work. Luckily I had a job that was awesome on standing by my side to help me get better.
I have seen doctor after doctor and still no answers. I was told to visit a neurologist to check things of that nature. He felt my Psoas muscle in the center of my body was damaged and steriod shots to it under live xray could fix the problem. Laying on a bed while they stick a 5" needle past your spine and into this muscle with no "funny" juice is not fun. They hit nerves while doing it and next thing I know for two days I'm paralyzed from walking. I finally get my legs under me and go back to work. Never felt better. One month later, same pains and I'm back for more treatments. I did this for 6 months or so and it never eased the pain.
Now I'm off to a stomach doctor. After about 6 months of in and out of hospital, tests, and numerous doctor visits I had one last visit one late night to the E.R. cause the pain was so great I passed out and hit my head. After 7 hours in E.R. the doctor looked me straight in the eye and said in the nicest way she could and told my I was crazy and I would just have to learn to live with it. I can't do this anylonger. I hurt. My relationship with my job is failing and my marriage is getting rocky cause of my temper due to sickness. Which let me add to that. Jen never left my side and stood by me through thick and thin. A true bestfriend.
I finally got a general surgeon to consult with. Maybe he'll have the answer, cause if he doesn't, I don't know what to do. My mind has began to wonder off, and the thought of God is not even close in my mind. I'm mad at Him right now. When I need Him most, He left me to hurt, cry, and physically wanting to hurt myself. What should I do? I no longer want to just sit still and listen, I need an answer now!
The end of 2005 is near and this has gone on way to long. The general surgeon puts me under and takes a look. When I awake there are six holes in my body. My appendix is missing, my galbladder is missing, and there is a small hole in my liver where they took a biopsy of it. WHAT!?!
....stay tuned for 2006...it's the year of hurts and changes!
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